You Must be a Home Educator if....

· You live in a one-house schoolroom.
· Your walls are covered with maps and timelines.
· You know what math manipulatives are.
· You have mold growing in your fridge…on purpose.
· Your preschooler can name all the planets, but doesn't know who the Rugrats are.
· You've mastered the fine art of vacuuming a floor without sucking up a Lego or K'nex piece.
· You're either an expert at doing the Lego dance - Oooch! Ouch! Yeow! - or else you've resorted to wearing shoes around the house.
· You know the recipes for homemade versions of Play-doh, finger paint, and paste.
· Your students have to clear the breakfast bowls off the table before sitting down to do their school work.
· Your house is messy, but your kids are happy.
· You know that reverse psychology really works.
· Your kids publish their own family newsletter.
· You shop for birthday presents at educational stores.
· All you want for Christmas is a Barnes & Noble gift certificate.
· You'd rather buy books than clothes.
· Your friends don't want to help you move because you have so many books.
· You turn a trip to the grocery store into a learning experience.
· You get nervous about what people will say when you take your kids to K-Mart in the middle of the day.
· You have a standard one-minute speech to give to store clerks, mother-in-laws, and school officials about why you homeschool.
· You are sick and tired of answering the question, "But what about socialization?"
· For your wedding anniversary, you decide to splurge and get a photocopier.
· Talking out loud to yourself is the same as having a parent/teacher conference.
· When you see a parking lot full of mini vans, you wonder if there's a homeschooling conference.
· You take your family vacation in September, when the beaches and theme parks are empty.
· You take a suitcase full of books along on your family vacation.
· You can never find your kitchen utensils because they're out in the sandbox.
· Your kitchen doubles as a science lab.
· You are on a first name basis with your local librarian and bookstore owner.
· The UPS driver delivers a box of Scholastic books to your doorstep once a month.
· You know the scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z.
· You're willing to drop what you're doing at a moment's notice to go look something up in a dictionary or encyclopedia.
· You have ever vented for more than five minutes on the evils of standardized testing.
· You don't get fired for teaching your students about God.
· Some days you learn as much as your students.
· The more your kids learn, the less you seem to know.